It’s a fundamental fact of human life that we lose about 100% of the umbrellas we buy. Just about everyone has experienced that moment when you’re six blocks away from the restaurant and the rain starts to fall, bringing to mind a crystal clear image of your umbrella on the floor under your table. This is why every convenience store in the universe always has a supply of cheap umbrellas on hand: People lose them constantly and need to buy new ones.
There are some ways to prevent yourself from leaving your umbrella behind that have been tried and true. Science has been working on the problem, and it turns out, there are some ways to prevent yourself from leaving your umbrella behind that have been tried and true.
Play games on your mind.
One of the main reasons we lose so many umbrellas is because we assign no value to them—and that’s likely because you bought the cheapest one you could find the last time you got stuck in a downpour. Without any sort of investment, you subconsciously regard the umbrella as a disposable item—so one easy solution is to finally invest in an umbrella that doesn’t suck. You don’t have to drop upwards of $500 on a Burberry, but spending more than $5 on your next umbrella may inspire you to protect it with the same fervor you protect your other valuables. Plus, if you’re in the habit of losing your umbrellas, you might actually save money in the long run with a more expensive model you don’t lose.
Unitization is a technique that involves connecting two concepts in your mind. It has been found to be very effective in helping older folks with memory challenges. For the umbrella-challenged, the way it can work is simple: When you set your umbrella down somewhere, imagine it wedged in the door you’ll need to leave through. When you stand up to go, the image will remind you to grab your umbrella before you leave.
There are more tips and tricks to help you out, but these are the most important ones to remember. There are more tips and tricks to help you out, but these are the most important ones to remember for now.
If the unitization method doesn’t appeal to you, you can try a few more basic tricks in your quest to be buried with that $5 umbrella you bought at a CVS: -Try to find an inexpensive casket. -Look for a funeral home that offers a package deal. -See if you can get a reduced rate if you prepay.
If the umbrella has a Velcro strap to keep it closed, try attaching the Velcro to your belt loop or another article of clothing when you set it down on the floor.
Use an umbrella with a cover. When you step inside, put the umbrella cover on, and slip something easier to remember, like your phone, inside. When you stand up to leave, you’ll look for your phone and remember your umbrella.
to get what you need. Use technology to get what you need.
Finally, if you’re the modern type who loves solving simple problems with incredibly delicate and advanced technology, you could attach a Tile or AirTag to your umbrella and set a separation alert to warn you if you leave it behind. Alternatively, when you put your umbrella down somewhere, set up a reminder on your phone’s calendar app for when you estimate you’ll be leaving. If you’re not ready to go when it activates, just snooze it until you are. Annoying, but effective.
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